Does Cj want to buy these planters???
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Funny twistings.
I had a great time in Portland with Cj and Jt. They are the only people that have been able to make me laugh until I cried in recent time. I love them. I felt a bit like I was intruding on their home coming. I hope they didn't mind too much. They always help me put things in perspective, which I appreciate. It was also wonderful to see my furry niece and nephews. It is so nice to curl up with them!
Tonight Mr. Urbane and I went to my "I raised enough money to get invited to a reception" reception. It is a BEAUTIFUL (read sunny and warm) night in the City. We stayed for the drinks and snacks then headed to a place we could sit outside. I think it was the most fun we've had in a long time. I'm glad. It was a school night and I was afraid he'd be dopey. He did bring me home early, but that's a good thing. I need some rest (and time to blog). He laughed heartily over Cj card and gift. He can't wait to be a snowboarder poser along with the rest of us.
I hot rolled my hair tonight..It was fun! I'd take a picture, but the battery is dead. We must have looked cute, because the photographer took our photo a couple of times. Aren't I VAIN?
I am getting so excited about Mexico. Mammy and I have agreed many hours on the lazy river drinking virgin pina coladas in THE thing for US to do! I can't wait. I just need to paint and build shelves in the mean time. Woohoo!
Also, I have to say, it is SO nice to be back with the babies. Miss EE has gotten bigger, but I think she forgot me while I was gone. I'm going to have to give her extra cuddles. Also, A-man vocab/syntax got more complex while I was gone, and he is now excited about getting into the pool. Makes the summer sound WAY fun!
Tonight Mr. Urbane and I went to my "I raised enough money to get invited to a reception" reception. It is a BEAUTIFUL (read sunny and warm) night in the City. We stayed for the drinks and snacks then headed to a place we could sit outside. I think it was the most fun we've had in a long time. I'm glad. It was a school night and I was afraid he'd be dopey. He did bring me home early, but that's a good thing. I need some rest (and time to blog). He laughed heartily over Cj card and gift. He can't wait to be a snowboarder poser along with the rest of us.
I hot rolled my hair tonight..It was fun! I'd take a picture, but the battery is dead. We must have looked cute, because the photographer took our photo a couple of times. Aren't I VAIN?
I am getting so excited about Mexico. Mammy and I have agreed many hours on the lazy river drinking virgin pina coladas in THE thing for US to do! I can't wait. I just need to paint and build shelves in the mean time. Woohoo!
Also, I have to say, it is SO nice to be back with the babies. Miss EE has gotten bigger, but I think she forgot me while I was gone. I'm going to have to give her extra cuddles. Also, A-man vocab/syntax got more complex while I was gone, and he is now excited about getting into the pool. Makes the summer sound WAY fun!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Winged Feet.
Well, I can't seem to stay in one place to long. We had a good time at Mammy and Poppy's. We took A-man to Columbia to pan for gold, "hike" through the "mines", visit the hens, and eat some ice cream. I drink half a sarsaparilla...can you believe that? It was so nice in the mountains. I could have stayed much longer. The sun, blue sky, flip flops, etc. agreed with me. What then would pull me off the mountain? My CJ of course! Here I am in Portland, laughing till I'm crying, talking it all out, shopping with zeal, squeezing and sneezing, and attempting to cure the hick-ups. I LOVE the new house, and all the surrounding greenery. I am just so thrilled for CJ and JT. All their hard work and sacrifice is really bringing its rewards! It has also been super to see the babies. We went up to Mount Hood and rode one of the ski lifts up. It was so big and unreal looking as we were driving up to it. I kept babbling about how I was hoping it wouldn't blow up. I'm so silly. The view from the mountain was amazing, as you can see Mount Jefferson, woods, etc. We were dangling 100 feet above the ground for half a mile before we realized we were supposed to put the safety bar down. HAHA. It is just beautiful here right now. Everything is green and lush. I am thrilled I'm going to see Jt! Jt and Cj are so sweet to me. They always help me find direction. I love them. :-)
When I get home it will be just about time to pack for Mexico!
When I get home it will be just about time to pack for Mexico!
Monday, May 01, 2006
Sometimes you just get off track.
Off track isn't always a bad thing, of course. Having the privilege off helping to care for my niece and nephew (and their folks) has worth not bloggin for awhile. Since I got back from Japan I've been busy with cooking, child care, painting, working up a good case of spring fever, planning trips to Portland and Mexico, yearning for the sun, finally (after five or six trips) getting new glasses I can actually see through, attempting to have some semblance of a social life, etc. I'm getting a little tired, but I am having fun and feel very lucky!
A few little things:
1. I've been hanging out with someone I hope will become a great friend. He's an odd little fellow (actually, tall fellow), and will be henceforth known as Stupot.
2. I had great fun with Mamasake at her kid's school fundraiser in the city. She looked SO pretty (as Zumama said, "Very Jackie O!"), and really did have a glow about her. We stayed up late (we're SO NAUGHTY) and girl talked. Zumama and I also had a funny chat during the shindig about the tangled web that is the people we both know/knew.
3. It was SO nice to sleep in my OWN bed that night after the fundraiser!
4. I raised enough moolah last year with my run efforts that I got invited to a special reception. I think I've managed to rope Mr. Urbane into going with me. I found out a few days ago that he and his Ladyfriend split up. Seems a shame, but when a man has issues, and then picks women with strict rules, it has to be expected.
5. We, minus B (;-(), are up and Mammy and Poppy's this weekend. The weather is PERFECT, and about 45 minutes into the drive up (I came up a day early to clean) I felt as though I were waking up from a long cold dreary dream. I got so happy I stopped and bought tank tops at Target! We have been enjoying everything the mountains have to offer. We thought A-man would love to go sledding. We drove up to the remaining snow. I LOVE taking off my flipflops and putting on boots and snowpants on the side of the road! YAY CA! It turns out after slipping and sliding for a couple of minutes and feeling how cold the snow was A-man broke down into tears, and would only be held on someone's lap, or play in a patch of dirt around the base of a tree where the snow had melted. The adults took turns sledding, then we retired to Pinecrest lake for lunch. I couldn't have felt better. Yesterday we took A-man to the local Statepark/Train museum. We rode on a "real" train. He was scared of all the loud noises, but otherwise really enjoyed it. My camera quit working, so I have no picture, but it was cool! The biggest hit of the day was the store, which had the largest collection of "Thomas" stuff that I have EVER seen! Heaven for a two year old! Ms. E has been enjoying getting passed from person to person, and we all have fun playing with her and getting her to smile. She and her brother have both had runny noses, but life isn't meant to be perfect.
I'm SO excited about going to Portland. I feel like I did when I was little and the last week of school was almost over! WOOWEE!!
A few little things:
1. I've been hanging out with someone I hope will become a great friend. He's an odd little fellow (actually, tall fellow), and will be henceforth known as Stupot.
2. I had great fun with Mamasake at her kid's school fundraiser in the city. She looked SO pretty (as Zumama said, "Very Jackie O!"), and really did have a glow about her. We stayed up late (we're SO NAUGHTY) and girl talked. Zumama and I also had a funny chat during the shindig about the tangled web that is the people we both know/knew.
3. It was SO nice to sleep in my OWN bed that night after the fundraiser!
4. I raised enough moolah last year with my run efforts that I got invited to a special reception. I think I've managed to rope Mr. Urbane into going with me. I found out a few days ago that he and his Ladyfriend split up. Seems a shame, but when a man has issues, and then picks women with strict rules, it has to be expected.
5. We, minus B (;-(), are up and Mammy and Poppy's this weekend. The weather is PERFECT, and about 45 minutes into the drive up (I came up a day early to clean) I felt as though I were waking up from a long cold dreary dream. I got so happy I stopped and bought tank tops at Target! We have been enjoying everything the mountains have to offer. We thought A-man would love to go sledding. We drove up to the remaining snow. I LOVE taking off my flipflops and putting on boots and snowpants on the side of the road! YAY CA! It turns out after slipping and sliding for a couple of minutes and feeling how cold the snow was A-man broke down into tears, and would only be held on someone's lap, or play in a patch of dirt around the base of a tree where the snow had melted. The adults took turns sledding, then we retired to Pinecrest lake for lunch. I couldn't have felt better. Yesterday we took A-man to the local Statepark/Train museum. We rode on a "real" train. He was scared of all the loud noises, but otherwise really enjoyed it. My camera quit working, so I have no picture, but it was cool! The biggest hit of the day was the store, which had the largest collection of "Thomas" stuff that I have EVER seen! Heaven for a two year old! Ms. E has been enjoying getting passed from person to person, and we all have fun playing with her and getting her to smile. She and her brother have both had runny noses, but life isn't meant to be perfect.
I'm SO excited about going to Portland. I feel like I did when I was little and the last week of school was almost over! WOOWEE!!
Sunday, April 09, 2006
I'm back.
I've been back for a week. I haven't posted because I find myself on a nutty sleep schedule. Hopping right back into nanny duties, combined with jet lag, has left me a bit brain dead.
I had a great time in Japan. I am still glad I went on my own, but the next time I go on such a trip, I want at least one loved one with me. What can I say? I love sharing a good thing. :-) I will post pictures and stories, ASAP.
For now, I'm off to grab Ms. E, so that her Mommy can get their passports applications ready (Viva La Mexico!)
Oh, and it is great to see Buckmister has joined us in the ranks!
I had a great time in Japan. I am still glad I went on my own, but the next time I go on such a trip, I want at least one loved one with me. What can I say? I love sharing a good thing. :-) I will post pictures and stories, ASAP.
For now, I'm off to grab Ms. E, so that her Mommy can get their passports applications ready (Viva La Mexico!)
Oh, and it is great to see Buckmister has joined us in the ranks!
Monday, March 20, 2006
Off to see the wizard.
I leave for the Big J tomorrow. I am excited, and tired. I managed, with the help of some of those squishy vacuum bags, to squeeze everything in. I packed an extra bag, so be prepared.
It was difficult to say goodbye to the babies. They are both so cute.
Finally managed to speak to PC. I let him have it, in a nice way. I spoke my mind, without being to mean, I think. I don't know if he has the attachments to be a friend, but you never know.
Y'all have a ton of fun while I'm gone! I'll be thinking about you! Goopy goo!
It was difficult to say goodbye to the babies. They are both so cute.
Finally managed to speak to PC. I let him have it, in a nice way. I spoke my mind, without being to mean, I think. I don't know if he has the attachments to be a friend, but you never know.
Y'all have a ton of fun while I'm gone! I'll be thinking about you! Goopy goo!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
What is UP?
I just started spontaneously crying ( well, maybe not crying, but getting sniffle-y)over an episode of Sex in the City! Charlotte walks into an acupuncturist's office, one that is known for helping women who are having trouble getting pregnant. She walks through the door, sees about fifty women sitting in the waiting room, lets out a little sigh, and pastes a smile on her faces.
Baby blankets, fertility issues, etc. Yet, just the other day I realized, that in some ways, it would be liberating to be told I couldn't have children.
Maybe it is just stress.
I want to be more glamorous, but just a little, just sometimes.
Nighty night.
Baby blankets, fertility issues, etc. Yet, just the other day I realized, that in some ways, it would be liberating to be told I couldn't have children.
Maybe it is just stress.
I want to be more glamorous, but just a little, just sometimes.
Nighty night.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Ten minutes at a time.
The other night B and I went to the mall together. I was looking for glasses, and he was looking for suits, shirts, etc. He has a wedding to go to at the end of the month, and needed some new duds. It was fun shopping with him, though people kept assuming we were hitched. I take this as a good sign because, I think it means we are comfortable with each other. He echoed (sweetly) my sentiments exactly when he told one of the sales people that I was as close to him as his blood sister.
Speaking of his blood sister, the whole New York gang is doing well, but is of course sleepy etc.
I have had the hardest time looking for glasses. I find it very discouraging, as I cannot go without, and they are such a huge part of my every day appearance. I finally settled on a pair, they made them, and I couldn't see out of them. It has been a painful process, but, and here is the silver lining for sure, they have been discounted fifty percent to make up for all the pain.
I was keeping all my icky boy stuff inside, and the other morning it exploded all over Mammy and S. It was S's turn to head to the mall for clothes to wear to the wedding. We were all way too tired to be shopping, and I was really crabby about the world. They were so sweet to put up with me. I got totally discouraged when I saw the most beautiful baby blanket and got all freaked out thinking I might never have the opportunity to have kids. I felt horrible by the time I got dropped off for my chiro/massage appointment, then a funny thing happened. First, I always feel better after my appointment. When I was done, I had to get back to the mall to check on the glasses situation. I wasn't sure how I'd do it, but I ended up taking a bus. I met the nicest guy, who looked like a bum, but was just trying to make his way in the world. We had a nice little chat, and then on the way into the mall I helped a lady in a wheel chair roll herself up a hill. I always feel better when I'm friendly with people. I felt so good I bought a sweater for my trip.
I feel like the trip is bad timing, but the wheels are rolling, so all hands on deck. Speaking of, I'm in the city. I attempted to get a passport today. I won't be able to pick it up until Friday. Thhbbppt. I did get a chance to swing by old work and give hugs to the gang. It was good to see them and catch up!
Tonight I had dinner with Mr. Wino. Nice guy, nice dinner. I talked to much.
Poppy has had knee deep snow. I really, REALLY wish I had been there for it!
I'm so tired, but things are mostly good. I just need to get beyond my little hurts and disappointments. I'm taking it ten minutes at a time.
I keeping up with all your blogs, and I miss those of you that aren't here! :-)
Speaking of his blood sister, the whole New York gang is doing well, but is of course sleepy etc.
I have had the hardest time looking for glasses. I find it very discouraging, as I cannot go without, and they are such a huge part of my every day appearance. I finally settled on a pair, they made them, and I couldn't see out of them. It has been a painful process, but, and here is the silver lining for sure, they have been discounted fifty percent to make up for all the pain.
I was keeping all my icky boy stuff inside, and the other morning it exploded all over Mammy and S. It was S's turn to head to the mall for clothes to wear to the wedding. We were all way too tired to be shopping, and I was really crabby about the world. They were so sweet to put up with me. I got totally discouraged when I saw the most beautiful baby blanket and got all freaked out thinking I might never have the opportunity to have kids. I felt horrible by the time I got dropped off for my chiro/massage appointment, then a funny thing happened. First, I always feel better after my appointment. When I was done, I had to get back to the mall to check on the glasses situation. I wasn't sure how I'd do it, but I ended up taking a bus. I met the nicest guy, who looked like a bum, but was just trying to make his way in the world. We had a nice little chat, and then on the way into the mall I helped a lady in a wheel chair roll herself up a hill. I always feel better when I'm friendly with people. I felt so good I bought a sweater for my trip.
I feel like the trip is bad timing, but the wheels are rolling, so all hands on deck. Speaking of, I'm in the city. I attempted to get a passport today. I won't be able to pick it up until Friday. Thhbbppt. I did get a chance to swing by old work and give hugs to the gang. It was good to see them and catch up!
Tonight I had dinner with Mr. Wino. Nice guy, nice dinner. I talked to much.
Poppy has had knee deep snow. I really, REALLY wish I had been there for it!
I'm so tired, but things are mostly good. I just need to get beyond my little hurts and disappointments. I'm taking it ten minutes at a time.
I keeping up with all your blogs, and I miss those of you that aren't here! :-)
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Peanut Butter
I don't know why that is my title. :-)
PC is gone. Part of me feels like a sucker, the bigger part just says, "NEXT!".
Had dinner with Mr. Vespa Wednesday night. He is a good human. We had a great conversation about human nature.
I took care of Miss EE when I got home. As she was sleeping peacefully in my lap, I looked at her. My heart just opened up, and I thought, "THIS is what is it ALL about." Do you all know what I mean? It just seems like life is supposed to be about being open, compassionate, and loving. Helping things grow and teaching them to help themselves and others. It was our bonding moment. She is so cute!
I am losing track of the days. I have a lot of little chores to do before I leave for Japan. I need new glasses, and I went to look for some today. I need you Portlandites! I cannot find ones I like. Oh, and I meant to say I hope you all are having a GREAT weekend together in your new digs!
PC is gone. Part of me feels like a sucker, the bigger part just says, "NEXT!".
Had dinner with Mr. Vespa Wednesday night. He is a good human. We had a great conversation about human nature.
I took care of Miss EE when I got home. As she was sleeping peacefully in my lap, I looked at her. My heart just opened up, and I thought, "THIS is what is it ALL about." Do you all know what I mean? It just seems like life is supposed to be about being open, compassionate, and loving. Helping things grow and teaching them to help themselves and others. It was our bonding moment. She is so cute!
I am losing track of the days. I have a lot of little chores to do before I leave for Japan. I need new glasses, and I went to look for some today. I need you Portlandites! I cannot find ones I like. Oh, and I meant to say I hope you all are having a GREAT weekend together in your new digs!
Monday, March 06, 2006
Old friends.
My friends constantly save me from myself. In the last day or so I have spent a lot of time chatting with Jt on the phone and Fred and Thompson's Guy on line. Gentlemen, I just want to thank you all for being so sweet and supportive. You have been listening to me vent and getting me to talk about other things for a while. I love you all for it!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Oreo
So life is great! I have a beautiful and healthy niece and nephew. A healthy and happy (if not tired) family. Access to excellent food, clothing, and shelter. Wonderful friends, some of which are moving very close by. I'm traveling to a place I have been dreaming of for years. So, what is my not-so-silver lining?
Boys, of course. Here I am, right smack dab in the middle of what should be a great moment in my life, and YET AGAIN, I am all a fret because some boy doesn't have the decency to acknowledge my existence. What makes men think that displaying such a lack of respect will get them any where in life?
While I'm ranting...what makes people think it is OK to refuse needy children a good home? I heard a report that 16 states are attempting to ban gay and lesbian couples from adopting. Errrrrrr.
Back to nice things. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be a part of such a great family. Miss EE is so cute, and is already spending great lots of time with eyes open learning everything. A-man is getting used to her and wants to investigate her. It is fun and cool, and I feel lucky that I am able to be around for it all.
Boys, of course. Here I am, right smack dab in the middle of what should be a great moment in my life, and YET AGAIN, I am all a fret because some boy doesn't have the decency to acknowledge my existence. What makes men think that displaying such a lack of respect will get them any where in life?
While I'm ranting...what makes people think it is OK to refuse needy children a good home? I heard a report that 16 states are attempting to ban gay and lesbian couples from adopting. Errrrrrr.
Back to nice things. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be a part of such a great family. Miss EE is so cute, and is already spending great lots of time with eyes open learning everything. A-man is getting used to her and wants to investigate her. It is fun and cool, and I feel lucky that I am able to be around for it all.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Fruitful.
Well, we got us one of them girl babies today. The NYC contingent had a beautiful, long, and lean baby girl this morning. I was wrong, and glad of it. We need more women in this family. HAHAHA.
Also, in doing Japan research, I may have stumbled across what I want my new career to be.
Also, in doing Japan research, I may have stumbled across what I want my new career to be.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Babies coming out our ears.
Well, the NYC part of the family went into labor today, and last I heard has contractions less than ten minutes apart. I fully expect to have a shiny new member of the family in the morning. I am convinced they are having a boy, but won't mind at all if I'm wrong.
S is ready. She has her last pre-op visit in the morning. I believe this last week will be a long one for her.
A-man is a sweet, pathetic, sick, little guy today. He went to the Doctor, and it turns out he has an ear infection/chest congestion. We had a big vomit episode this afternoon as well. I feel so bad for him. Despite it all his spirits are high, and we managed to get some playing in.
I have just been given an airline ticket to Japan, for god only knows what reasons. Still, I will treasure it, and attempt to have the best time possible. Watch out...slide shows to follow!
S is ready. She has her last pre-op visit in the morning. I believe this last week will be a long one for her.
A-man is a sweet, pathetic, sick, little guy today. He went to the Doctor, and it turns out he has an ear infection/chest congestion. We had a big vomit episode this afternoon as well. I feel so bad for him. Despite it all his spirits are high, and we managed to get some playing in.
I have just been given an airline ticket to Japan, for god only knows what reasons. Still, I will treasure it, and attempt to have the best time possible. Watch out...slide shows to follow!
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
List.
1. A week from now we will have a new baby.
2. I closed my office, said my thanks, and moved on.
3. P.C. and I saw a bobcat and then ate "cook your own" asian food.
4. Jillo and her Mammy are on the road, headed (permanently?) to Portland.
5. I can't decide if I should go to Japan if I'm by myself.
6. I keep compulsively getting on line looking for something, and realizing I'm looking in the wrong place. I wonder if I put all my personality quizzes in front of me, if a pattern will pop out. The big slap in the face "THIS is your career" obvious thing I seem to keep missing.
7. I love hiking.
2. I closed my office, said my thanks, and moved on.
3. P.C. and I saw a bobcat and then ate "cook your own" asian food.
4. Jillo and her Mammy are on the road, headed (permanently?) to Portland.
5. I can't decide if I should go to Japan if I'm by myself.
6. I keep compulsively getting on line looking for something, and realizing I'm looking in the wrong place. I wonder if I put all my personality quizzes in front of me, if a pattern will pop out. The big slap in the face "THIS is your career" obvious thing I seem to keep missing.
7. I love hiking.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Heaving.
I'm having a "what the hell is wrong with me" day.
The weekend was strange, and I didn't get much done.
I was hoping I would get an invite to hang out with PC Friday night, but instead I got an irritating phone call made in a car full of "the guys" telling me we could still do something Saturday, but that he had made other plans for Sat. A.M. that would eliminate all possibility of a trip to the Aquarium. I was mad, but didn't want to talk about it [not while he was in a car full of snickering guys]. Now, I had PMS in a big way, and couldn't let it go. I did something I try not to do and got dramatic. I sent him a text message (which, thinking his phone was dead, didn't think he'd get until MUCH later) saying that I'd just rather not hear from him again. Four minutes later I got an apologetic call. At that point, I was tired, hungry, irritated, hormone filled, and on the verge of tears (again, I'm not much of a crier). I told him I didn't want to talk, but that he could check his email later.
Skipping some of the details, we ended up hanging out Sat. night. We had a good discussion (which felt very adult) about neither of us wanting to get too serious too fast. It was good and open, and I explained that above all else I just want respect and honesty. We agreed there was no need for exclusivity at the moment. It lacked the passion one associates with a good romantic relationship, but it felt more adult than any other situation I've gotten close to. The only hitch is, I gotta tell ya, the girly part of me still feels a little rejected. The Cinderella part still wants Prince Charming, or at least the strong minded, independent cowboy who's totally head over heels without being smothering. I'm so dorky! ;-)
Sunday I saw the ocean. It was beautiful. Green and blue and the waves were heaving, rolling, spray was blowing off the tops. It felt like me.
Last night I started a list of my "little goals". Those things I'd like to do or experience in my life just for myself. For example:
Hike the Haute Route in Switzerland
Become proficient at Ballroom Dancing
Spend time in the south Pacific
Make Narrow Vision official and publish at least one thing
Go to Machu Picchu
See a bamboo forest in China or Japan
Sleep in a yurt in Mongolia
See cherry blossoms, hot springs, and temples in Japan
Now today, I feel unhealthy and directionless. Like the waves rolling fiercely. Heavy and persistent, wearing down those things I come in contact with, and dissolving.
That being said, I'm not in a bad mood. I just REALLY want to get somewhere, be strong, meet my goals, and serve my purpose. Oh and be kissed REALLY passionately on a regular basis.
The weekend was strange, and I didn't get much done.
I was hoping I would get an invite to hang out with PC Friday night, but instead I got an irritating phone call made in a car full of "the guys" telling me we could still do something Saturday, but that he had made other plans for Sat. A.M. that would eliminate all possibility of a trip to the Aquarium. I was mad, but didn't want to talk about it [not while he was in a car full of snickering guys]. Now, I had PMS in a big way, and couldn't let it go. I did something I try not to do and got dramatic. I sent him a text message (which, thinking his phone was dead, didn't think he'd get until MUCH later) saying that I'd just rather not hear from him again. Four minutes later I got an apologetic call. At that point, I was tired, hungry, irritated, hormone filled, and on the verge of tears (again, I'm not much of a crier). I told him I didn't want to talk, but that he could check his email later.
Skipping some of the details, we ended up hanging out Sat. night. We had a good discussion (which felt very adult) about neither of us wanting to get too serious too fast. It was good and open, and I explained that above all else I just want respect and honesty. We agreed there was no need for exclusivity at the moment. It lacked the passion one associates with a good romantic relationship, but it felt more adult than any other situation I've gotten close to. The only hitch is, I gotta tell ya, the girly part of me still feels a little rejected. The Cinderella part still wants Prince Charming, or at least the strong minded, independent cowboy who's totally head over heels without being smothering. I'm so dorky! ;-)
Sunday I saw the ocean. It was beautiful. Green and blue and the waves were heaving, rolling, spray was blowing off the tops. It felt like me.
Last night I started a list of my "little goals". Those things I'd like to do or experience in my life just for myself. For example:
Hike the Haute Route in Switzerland
Become proficient at Ballroom Dancing
Spend time in the south Pacific
Make Narrow Vision official and publish at least one thing
Go to Machu Picchu
See a bamboo forest in China or Japan
Sleep in a yurt in Mongolia
See cherry blossoms, hot springs, and temples in Japan
Now today, I feel unhealthy and directionless. Like the waves rolling fiercely. Heavy and persistent, wearing down those things I come in contact with, and dissolving.
That being said, I'm not in a bad mood. I just REALLY want to get somewhere, be strong, meet my goals, and serve my purpose. Oh and be kissed REALLY passionately on a regular basis.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
I will try to remember.
Well, a bunch of stuff has happened. I am tired, and watching M.A.S.H., so I probably won't get much of it down.
Um. A-man has been mostly cute, and a little bit insanely two.
I am finally able to breathe, as Jillo has officially been offered an AWESOME job in Portland...I'm SO excited!!!!!
I've been cooking cooking cooking.
The girly Homies came down, and were so nice and fun. I miss them. It makes me want to get settled back down in SF a bit.
I'm itching with anticipation for our Lady in Waiting to arrive. I would at least like to know her name. ;-)
P. Coltrane and I saw Brokeback Mountain last week, it was SO sad and so beautiful!
We were supposed to get together over the weekend, but he had to work. We decided to get together on Mon. evening. I told him it was his turn to come up here. He finally called at almost 6:20 P.M. to tell me he was coming. It was about 9:30 P.M. when he finally showed up. I was very tired and grumpy at that point. I was wondering what the heck I was doing with a guy who couldn't follow directions, talks on his cell phone too much while driving, and is too whatever to buy a car charger for his cell phone. I think it was the hunger, and I feel a bit bad now about giving him a hard time. I am hopefully going to the Monterey Aquarium with him on Sat. Who knows?
Um. A-man has been mostly cute, and a little bit insanely two.
I am finally able to breathe, as Jillo has officially been offered an AWESOME job in Portland...I'm SO excited!!!!!
I've been cooking cooking cooking.
The girly Homies came down, and were so nice and fun. I miss them. It makes me want to get settled back down in SF a bit.
I'm itching with anticipation for our Lady in Waiting to arrive. I would at least like to know her name. ;-)
P. Coltrane and I saw Brokeback Mountain last week, it was SO sad and so beautiful!
We were supposed to get together over the weekend, but he had to work. We decided to get together on Mon. evening. I told him it was his turn to come up here. He finally called at almost 6:20 P.M. to tell me he was coming. It was about 9:30 P.M. when he finally showed up. I was very tired and grumpy at that point. I was wondering what the heck I was doing with a guy who couldn't follow directions, talks on his cell phone too much while driving, and is too whatever to buy a car charger for his cell phone. I think it was the hunger, and I feel a bit bad now about giving him a hard time. I am hopefully going to the Monterey Aquarium with him on Sat. Who knows?
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