Even with oatmeal and mucus in my nose!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Holiday.
Did I lose any of you?
So yesterday I went to go see The Holiday (by myself, by the way). I know. Insipid.
I don't care. Sometimes I need to see the cheese. I was able to choke back my near revulsion for Jude Law, and ignore the worst of the insipidness, and enjoyed it. It did remind me I need to stay positive, keep reaching and searching, and let go of dead/desiccating things. I will not be a raisin!
I uploaded a few pics from the new camera. I'm really going to have to put some work into learning the ins and outs. White balance seems to be the trickiest part.
I downloaded Prince today. Love that guy.
I had to tell Poppy today that I just couldn't do some work for him over the next few weeks. I feel very determined that the next six months will be devoted to finishing the old house, and to getting in shape. I just can't be his girl this time, which makes me feel AWFUL! I know it means that he won't have enough time for all of his stuff, including getting ready for Switzerland. Ugh.
I bought some books on renovation. I am determined to get this right.
Finally, for once in my life, I would like a New Year's kiss. A proper one. Any takers?
So yesterday I went to go see The Holiday (by myself, by the way). I know. Insipid.
I don't care. Sometimes I need to see the cheese. I was able to choke back my near revulsion for Jude Law, and ignore the worst of the insipidness, and enjoyed it. It did remind me I need to stay positive, keep reaching and searching, and let go of dead/desiccating things. I will not be a raisin!
I uploaded a few pics from the new camera. I'm really going to have to put some work into learning the ins and outs. White balance seems to be the trickiest part.
I downloaded Prince today. Love that guy.
I had to tell Poppy today that I just couldn't do some work for him over the next few weeks. I feel very determined that the next six months will be devoted to finishing the old house, and to getting in shape. I just can't be his girl this time, which makes me feel AWFUL! I know it means that he won't have enough time for all of his stuff, including getting ready for Switzerland. Ugh.
I bought some books on renovation. I am determined to get this right.
Finally, for once in my life, I would like a New Year's kiss. A proper one. Any takers?
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Jesus and Ebay
Now don't freak out. So, I was talking to A-man the other day. We were talking about Christmas. I asked him why we celebrate Christmas. He was very sweet and serious and gave me very typical three-year old answers like "presents", "gifts", "Santa", and "ornaments". As most of you know, his parents are not what one might call religious. Still, they have a tiny nativity, and A-man has some idea that there is a Baby Jesus that has something to do with Christmas. I explained to him that Christmas is a celebration of Jesus being born. He looked at me quizzically, and I went on to explain that Jesus was a very nice man that tried to teach people to be good and to be nice to each other. I started thinking about how political (and I don't mean Repubs and Demos) Christmas has become. I have decided that it doesn't really matter if you are spiritual, religious, or none of the above, it is not a bad thing to think about Jesus at Christmas. I have found myself irritable and grumpy quite a bit lately. I have also found many people I run into to be the same, along with weary, negative, etc. The moments when I find myself feeling the best these days are when I am hearing about people reaching out a helping hand, or I am doing so myself. If thinking about Jesus at Christmas time would help ALL people be more loving, tolerant, generous, and respectful of other people, then I am all for it.
Now onto the other part of Christmas. I have always loved it. It was magical, especially the tree. There were always at least two trees in my life, and sometimes a third. The one at home had big lights, hodge-podge ornaments that we had made, or were things Mammy purchased after leaving home (post-'67), and tinsel garlands. Sometimes my Granma had a little tree with a few very precious ornaments she had brought from England. Many glass and some dating from the 30's. She had a little multi-colored glass bead garland. She also had some funky 60's and 70's household decorations. The best trees were at my god-parent's house. They were usually very dense, fresh cut cedar. They had a whole mix of big bulbs from twinkle lights to Ice ball lights. The had a few real birds' nests that they would put a little fake bird in. Somewhere hidden in the branches was a little box that made bird call noises. They had plastic glow-in-the-dark icicles. They also had the stringy "icicle" tinsel. It was awesome. I'm going through a huge fit of nostalgia for it all this year, and have been scouring E-bay for vintage lights, etc. Unfortunately, so is everyone else and prices are sky high. What's a girl to do?!?
Here's to being nice, taking care of each other, and GE "Lighted Ice" light bulbs!
Merry Christmas!
Now onto the other part of Christmas. I have always loved it. It was magical, especially the tree. There were always at least two trees in my life, and sometimes a third. The one at home had big lights, hodge-podge ornaments that we had made, or were things Mammy purchased after leaving home (post-'67), and tinsel garlands. Sometimes my Granma had a little tree with a few very precious ornaments she had brought from England. Many glass and some dating from the 30's. She had a little multi-colored glass bead garland. She also had some funky 60's and 70's household decorations. The best trees were at my god-parent's house. They were usually very dense, fresh cut cedar. They had a whole mix of big bulbs from twinkle lights to Ice ball lights. The had a few real birds' nests that they would put a little fake bird in. Somewhere hidden in the branches was a little box that made bird call noises. They had plastic glow-in-the-dark icicles. They also had the stringy "icicle" tinsel. It was awesome. I'm going through a huge fit of nostalgia for it all this year, and have been scouring E-bay for vintage lights, etc. Unfortunately, so is everyone else and prices are sky high. What's a girl to do?!?
Here's to being nice, taking care of each other, and GE "Lighted Ice" light bulbs!
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Not last night...
...but the night before, I had two interesting dreams.
The first dream was about bread. I was sorting through loaves of bread. We had too many. I gave them all a look over and a quick squeeze. They all seemed fresh. There were too many dessert-esque breads and one loaf of regular bread. I thought I should, despite the waste, throw out some of the dessert breads. I wondered how we ended up with so much.
Dream number two started with me wandering about on a mountain, or maybe it was a hill. There were odd patches of pine trees and many patches of rocky, dry grass open spaces. I felt very lost at first. I was wondering around and around trying to get my bearings. I think there were other people around talking to me. Finally I found a shallow rocky stream bed or narrow road. It matched a line that was on the map I had in my hand. I don't remember having the map in my hand before that moment. It was round, like a large coaster, and had only a few bold lines on it. By following the "stream bed", I was able to confirm that it matched a bold line. I had found my way, and the bold line seemed to trace itself with a bolder line as I walked. I came across a group of people. I met Clint Eastwood and told him he should make a movie of the story Poppy had just related to me about an American crew in the 1800's getting lost in Africa. He agreed, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Only if you'll be in it." This made me very happy and suddenly very dramatic.
I woke up and thought, "Well, that must have been about the bounty of life, and how important I feel it is for someone to believe in and want me, my thoughts, and my skills."
The first dream was about bread. I was sorting through loaves of bread. We had too many. I gave them all a look over and a quick squeeze. They all seemed fresh. There were too many dessert-esque breads and one loaf of regular bread. I thought I should, despite the waste, throw out some of the dessert breads. I wondered how we ended up with so much.
Dream number two started with me wandering about on a mountain, or maybe it was a hill. There were odd patches of pine trees and many patches of rocky, dry grass open spaces. I felt very lost at first. I was wondering around and around trying to get my bearings. I think there were other people around talking to me. Finally I found a shallow rocky stream bed or narrow road. It matched a line that was on the map I had in my hand. I don't remember having the map in my hand before that moment. It was round, like a large coaster, and had only a few bold lines on it. By following the "stream bed", I was able to confirm that it matched a bold line. I had found my way, and the bold line seemed to trace itself with a bolder line as I walked. I came across a group of people. I met Clint Eastwood and told him he should make a movie of the story Poppy had just related to me about an American crew in the 1800's getting lost in Africa. He agreed, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Only if you'll be in it." This made me very happy and suddenly very dramatic.
I woke up and thought, "Well, that must have been about the bounty of life, and how important I feel it is for someone to believe in and want me, my thoughts, and my skills."
Monday, October 23, 2006
I'm a dork.
And I am OK with that.
I have consistently been given the same good advice through the years. Mr. Urbane gave me this advice again on Friday. He said, "Go have a martini!" I knew what he meant was, "Relax! Don't push so hard!" I've been taking really deep, slow breaths since then. He was right. I just need to calm down. I am calming down.
Friday was a big day for me. After the Morrissey thing, I got odd. I found and communicated with two old boyfriends. I attempted to track down a prom date that passed away entirely too young. I made an idiot out of myself with a friend. I called two of my oldest girlfriends, cringing at the thought of how long it had been. It was all just crazy and exciting.
How strange. Anyway, all seems to have calmed down. It is still being beautiful here. Cj got home safe and sound from NY. I can't WAIT to see her next month! Happy fall to all!
I have consistently been given the same good advice through the years. Mr. Urbane gave me this advice again on Friday. He said, "Go have a martini!" I knew what he meant was, "Relax! Don't push so hard!" I've been taking really deep, slow breaths since then. He was right. I just need to calm down. I am calming down.
Friday was a big day for me. After the Morrissey thing, I got odd. I found and communicated with two old boyfriends. I attempted to track down a prom date that passed away entirely too young. I made an idiot out of myself with a friend. I called two of my oldest girlfriends, cringing at the thought of how long it had been. It was all just crazy and exciting.
How strange. Anyway, all seems to have calmed down. It is still being beautiful here. Cj got home safe and sound from NY. I can't WAIT to see her next month! Happy fall to all!
Friday, October 20, 2006
Indian Summer
That's all I know to call it. It is so beautiful, warm, and sunny.
I've been quite sick for a week now. I'm at the point where I am almost well. I'm still coughing, etc and a bit tired. I also have an itchy case of cabin fever.
Miss EE and I had some fun and giggles this morning. She is such a cutie. She and her brother are asleep, so I turned on the TV.
One of the HD channels is showing a live Morrissey show. I am blown away. The dude is 47 years old. He can still sing. He sounds JUST like he did on early Smiths albums. He sang Every Day is Like Sunday and I just freaked out. High school, crisp fall days in old Volvo wagons, doughnut holes, my girls, my loves, my mountains. I miss you all.
Don't know if it was the feverishness, or what, but I have been all over the place emotionally. I have been having vivid dreams. I feel super one minute, and totally morose the next. I hope it was just the virus doing its thing. I feel good this very moment.
Happy fall everybody. Gonna have to go download some you know who when I get home.
:-)
I've been quite sick for a week now. I'm at the point where I am almost well. I'm still coughing, etc and a bit tired. I also have an itchy case of cabin fever.
Miss EE and I had some fun and giggles this morning. She is such a cutie. She and her brother are asleep, so I turned on the TV.
One of the HD channels is showing a live Morrissey show. I am blown away. The dude is 47 years old. He can still sing. He sounds JUST like he did on early Smiths albums. He sang Every Day is Like Sunday and I just freaked out. High school, crisp fall days in old Volvo wagons, doughnut holes, my girls, my loves, my mountains. I miss you all.
Don't know if it was the feverishness, or what, but I have been all over the place emotionally. I have been having vivid dreams. I feel super one minute, and totally morose the next. I hope it was just the virus doing its thing. I feel good this very moment.
Happy fall everybody. Gonna have to go download some you know who when I get home.
:-)
Friday, September 22, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
Catch up.
I went to NYC and had a great time bonding with Little B and her folks. Things are just never ending in that city. I went to the WTC site, and will try to remember to write about it later.
I have other things to write about tonight.
I went to Sea Ranch for a beautiful weekend with Mr Urbane and some of his people. Finally met the Brazilian brother. It was startling just how much he's like his Dad.
They are good people, those boys.
Got to run in the beautiful weather along the bluff. Got to drive through the countryside. Got to soak in warm wonder (ur, water) under a zillion stars. Had some time to think and feel and rest.
This is what I came up with.
It is OK to love someone whole heartedly, even if they don't love you back. There is nothing wrong with it, unless you are expecting something from them.
If people don't stick, they aren't supposed to...don't chase them.
I FIRMLY believe things happen for a reason. Nothing just happens. I don't think others have to feel this way, but I do.
I have figured out a way to describe how I feel about my life, and all its aspects.
I am in a concrete box. No doors, no windows. I am singing, with all my heart. I don't necessarily have a great singing voice, but the song is beautiful because it is mine, totally unique, and sung with every fiber of my being. I know if I just keep singing the box will crumble and the world will be able to come in, and I will be able to go out. I just have to keep singing, singing MY song.
I have other things to write about tonight.
I went to Sea Ranch for a beautiful weekend with Mr Urbane and some of his people. Finally met the Brazilian brother. It was startling just how much he's like his Dad.
They are good people, those boys.
Got to run in the beautiful weather along the bluff. Got to drive through the countryside. Got to soak in warm wonder (ur, water) under a zillion stars. Had some time to think and feel and rest.
This is what I came up with.
It is OK to love someone whole heartedly, even if they don't love you back. There is nothing wrong with it, unless you are expecting something from them.
If people don't stick, they aren't supposed to...don't chase them.
I FIRMLY believe things happen for a reason. Nothing just happens. I don't think others have to feel this way, but I do.
I have figured out a way to describe how I feel about my life, and all its aspects.
I am in a concrete box. No doors, no windows. I am singing, with all my heart. I don't necessarily have a great singing voice, but the song is beautiful because it is mine, totally unique, and sung with every fiber of my being. I know if I just keep singing the box will crumble and the world will be able to come in, and I will be able to go out. I just have to keep singing, singing MY song.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Total Slacker
That's me.
There are important things going on, but I'm not going to write about them.
Today is the first time I've been able to watch Three's Company since John Ritter died. It was such a big part of my childhood. It is really a funny show, and has so many innuendos and euphemisms I never would have caught as a kid. LOVE IT!
There are important things going on, but I'm not going to write about them.
Today is the first time I've been able to watch Three's Company since John Ritter died. It was such a big part of my childhood. It is really a funny show, and has so many innuendos and euphemisms I never would have caught as a kid. LOVE IT!
Monday, July 31, 2006
Sweet Little Flower
We got a new flower in our garden today. She arrived safe and sound, eight pounds two ounces. We all have colds, so only mammy got to meet her in person. I can't wait.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Toe-may-Toe, Toe-mah-Toe.
I have always thought of CJ and JT as roots. They are,however, great fertilizer as well. And I am coming to Portland, even if temporarily. I'm so excited. I need it. Someone is trying to get me to come home a day early, so that I can participate in a whole family photo, but I don't think that will work.
I have the most generous sister and bro-in-law in the world. One of the results of their generosity has been weekly trips for an hour massage and a chiropractor visit for me. Those visits have become my still moments. I treasure them. Massage is so awesome. We all need more touching!
Some ladies came by the house today. They were lots of fun, and all seemed to have men to offer up to me. It is so nice to be thought of as nice. I will now freely admit that I am looking for my Mr. Big (without the commitment issues of course).
Off to wrestle with electronic music formats.
I have the most generous sister and bro-in-law in the world. One of the results of their generosity has been weekly trips for an hour massage and a chiropractor visit for me. Those visits have become my still moments. I treasure them. Massage is so awesome. We all need more touching!
Some ladies came by the house today. They were lots of fun, and all seemed to have men to offer up to me. It is so nice to be thought of as nice. I will now freely admit that I am looking for my Mr. Big (without the commitment issues of course).
Off to wrestle with electronic music formats.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Still.
Not long after I moved to CA, I was fooling around and took an on-line ayruvedic test. The results basically boiled down to this: I need a lot more stillness in my life, a lot less movement. Most of you know, I am a nomadic creature. I whole heartedly agreed with the results though. And that was three years ago. I haven't had mush stillness in the last three years. I'm not just talking about geographical stillness either. I am all over the place physically and emotionally. It isn't a bad thing, in a lot of ways. I like that I am the kind of person who can be flexible. I just know I need a certain amount of rootedness.
Looking for roots, that's what I'm doing. Looking for the roots that will tie me to my life. Of course, all good farmers know that developing roots takes patience. Must be patient.
Looking for roots, that's what I'm doing. Looking for the roots that will tie me to my life. Of course, all good farmers know that developing roots takes patience. Must be patient.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Long list.
So the last few weeks have been down right nutty. Parties, city socializing, sisterly appendix removal, Mammy travel, real estate discussions, child care, etc.
I got a little cooked, and emotionally over wrought. I'm much better now.
My brain has been torturing me at night. I keep having these dreams that make everything work out. It is comforting while I'm asleep, but then I wake up and feel confused.
I would like a mate. Everyone knows this. I was faced last week with a very challenging situation. I met a man that has many, many things that I has been looking for. And he liked me. And I don't want him because he wants to be a cop. I have felt very conflicted about this. I don't want to pass up a good thing. Discussing the situation with Poppy this morning made me realize how resolved I am about it. The only other thing I'm worried about, is whether I will every stop wanting things I cannot have.
Poppy and I were driving around yesterday and I got stung on my birdy finger. Now it looks like a banana slug! :-) It is so funny.
I have been very naughty about not keeping up with people. MUST make phone calls!
I still can't seem to post pictures. Will keep trying.
Glad to hear all the good news, and see all the fun that's been going on in Oregon!
I got a little cooked, and emotionally over wrought. I'm much better now.
My brain has been torturing me at night. I keep having these dreams that make everything work out. It is comforting while I'm asleep, but then I wake up and feel confused.
I would like a mate. Everyone knows this. I was faced last week with a very challenging situation. I met a man that has many, many things that I has been looking for. And he liked me. And I don't want him because he wants to be a cop. I have felt very conflicted about this. I don't want to pass up a good thing. Discussing the situation with Poppy this morning made me realize how resolved I am about it. The only other thing I'm worried about, is whether I will every stop wanting things I cannot have.
Poppy and I were driving around yesterday and I got stung on my birdy finger. Now it looks like a banana slug! :-) It is so funny.
I have been very naughty about not keeping up with people. MUST make phone calls!
I still can't seem to post pictures. Will keep trying.
Glad to hear all the good news, and see all the fun that's been going on in Oregon!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Dappled light.
So, as you can guess,I've been doing a lot of pondering and having many discussions with myself and others about my future, both immediate and long term. Poppy and I had a good one last night, and I think some things are starting to settle into place. I was driving around earlier, and I got all happy. It has been awhile, so I got excited about it. Somewhere I read that the vision that warriors were hoping to have during a vision quest was the vision of their death. If they knew how they were going to die, they didn't have to fear anything else, and could completely focus on the tasks at hand. Well, I feel like I have a picture of my life, and what I want. I just don't need to feel fear about how I'm going to get there. I'm old enough that I can see that life is not infinite. There are only so many evenings, and weekends. I should use the time I've got to do things I want to do. I just want to do what I think is right, and is me. I feel like it is a bad thing to hold back because of what others might think or expect, but that is what I have been doing. I've been living in fear, and as we know, a life lived in fear, is a life half lived. I just hope I can hold onto this in my daily goings-on.
Sorry about lack of photos,having technical difficulties.
Sorry about lack of photos,having technical difficulties.
Monday, June 19, 2006
My domesticated life.
Spent Friday and Saturday playing in the pool with Homie K and Homie A. It was fun. We've been having a lot of fun with the kids. We've been gobbling all the fruit CA has to offer. I made chocolate chip cookies for father's day. A-man is an addict. If he smells it on your breath, he begs for one.
I think I'm here with the kids through the end of July at least. I am wondering what to do after that. Have been reading up on the Haute Route, and even taking the lower "hiker's" route is quite an undertaking. Poppy and I will need to do lots of training, and I am committed to it. I am wondering if I should surrender city living for a while and retreat to the hills for training. Any ideas?
I think I'm here with the kids through the end of July at least. I am wondering what to do after that. Have been reading up on the Haute Route, and even taking the lower "hiker's" route is quite an undertaking. Poppy and I will need to do lots of training, and I am committed to it. I am wondering if I should surrender city living for a while and retreat to the hills for training. Any ideas?
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