Sweet Little Flower

We got a new flower in our garden today. She arrived safe and sound, eight pounds two ounces. We all have colds, so only mammy got to meet her in person. I can't wait.

My Boy.

Toe-may-Toe, Toe-mah-Toe.

I have always thought of CJ and JT as roots. They are,however, great fertilizer as well. And I am coming to Portland, even if temporarily. I'm so excited. I need it. Someone is trying to get me to come home a day early, so that I can participate in a whole family photo, but I don't think that will work.

I have the most generous sister and bro-in-law in the world. One of the results of their generosity has been weekly trips for an hour massage and a chiropractor visit for me. Those visits have become my still moments. I treasure them. Massage is so awesome. We all need more touching!

Some ladies came by the house today. They were lots of fun, and all seemed to have men to offer up to me. It is so nice to be thought of as nice. I will now freely admit that I am looking for my Mr. Big (without the commitment issues of course).

Off to wrestle with electronic music formats.

Still.

Not long after I moved to CA, I was fooling around and took an on-line ayruvedic test. The results basically boiled down to this: I need a lot more stillness in my life, a lot less movement. Most of you know, I am a nomadic creature. I whole heartedly agreed with the results though. And that was three years ago. I haven't had mush stillness in the last three years. I'm not just talking about geographical stillness either. I am all over the place physically and emotionally. It isn't a bad thing, in a lot of ways. I like that I am the kind of person who can be flexible. I just know I need a certain amount of rootedness.

Looking for roots, that's what I'm doing. Looking for the roots that will tie me to my life. Of course, all good farmers know that developing roots takes patience. Must be patient.

Long list.

So the last few weeks have been down right nutty. Parties, city socializing, sisterly appendix removal, Mammy travel, real estate discussions, child care, etc.
I got a little cooked, and emotionally over wrought. I'm much better now.

My brain has been torturing me at night. I keep having these dreams that make everything work out. It is comforting while I'm asleep, but then I wake up and feel confused.

I would like a mate. Everyone knows this. I was faced last week with a very challenging situation. I met a man that has many, many things that I has been looking for. And he liked me. And I don't want him because he wants to be a cop. I have felt very conflicted about this. I don't want to pass up a good thing. Discussing the situation with Poppy this morning made me realize how resolved I am about it. The only other thing I'm worried about, is whether I will every stop wanting things I cannot have.

Poppy and I were driving around yesterday and I got stung on my birdy finger. Now it looks like a banana slug! :-) It is so funny.

I have been very naughty about not keeping up with people. MUST make phone calls!

I still can't seem to post pictures. Will keep trying.

Glad to hear all the good news, and see all the fun that's been going on in Oregon!

Dappled light.

So, as you can guess,I've been doing a lot of pondering and having many discussions with myself and others about my future, both immediate and long term. Poppy and I had a good one last night, and I think some things are starting to settle into place. I was driving around earlier, and I got all happy. It has been awhile, so I got excited about it. Somewhere I read that the vision that warriors were hoping to have during a vision quest was the vision of their death. If they knew how they were going to die, they didn't have to fear anything else, and could completely focus on the tasks at hand. Well, I feel like I have a picture of my life, and what I want. I just don't need to feel fear about how I'm going to get there. I'm old enough that I can see that life is not infinite. There are only so many evenings, and weekends. I should use the time I've got to do things I want to do. I just want to do what I think is right, and is me. I feel like it is a bad thing to hold back because of what others might think or expect, but that is what I have been doing. I've been living in fear, and as we know, a life lived in fear, is a life half lived. I just hope I can hold onto this in my daily goings-on.

Sorry about lack of photos,having technical difficulties.

My domesticated life.

Spent Friday and Saturday playing in the pool with Homie K and Homie A. It was fun. We've been having a lot of fun with the kids. We've been gobbling all the fruit CA has to offer. I made chocolate chip cookies for father's day. A-man is an addict. If he smells it on your breath, he begs for one.

I think I'm here with the kids through the end of July at least. I am wondering what to do after that. Have been reading up on the Haute Route, and even taking the lower "hiker's" route is quite an undertaking. Poppy and I will need to do lots of training, and I am committed to it. I am wondering if I should surrender city living for a while and retreat to the hills for training. Any ideas?

Woof! Woof!

Da boys.

The TN gang a few drinks in. :-)

Mammy and Poppy.

Us gals.

S and Miss EE, out on the town.

Mammy hiding Ms. EE under her hat.

The view out my window.

A-man and Poppy.

B & S in the pool.

Poppy strolls the grounds.

Not much blogging going on.

Ok, so it took me this long to work up the energy to post. I'm just BAD. Sorry.

Mexico was great and awful. We had a lot of fun. A-man warmed up to the huge, huge pool after the first day, and then loved it. Miss EE relaxed in the nice breeze. It was warm and sunny. We ate copious amounts, and drank plenty too. I never made it to the lazy river...technically we were banned from it b/c it belongs to the other hotel on the property. I never worked up the energy to try and go over the wall. hehehe It isn't the kind of vacation I would normally choose, but it was MIGHTY nice to sit by the pool and have men walk up and ask if they could bring me anything. We didn't get off the compound much, but we did take a canopy tour. It was cool, and a bit scary, and the guides were very safe, funny, and flirty. Sunsets were perfect every night. I don't mean the view, though it was nice. I mean the breeze, the salty smell, the perfect temperature. YUM! The only awful part was being in this fun place, without a friend/s. I mean I LOVE the fam, but I could have done other fun stuff if a friend had been along. Oh boy.

Things have been a bit nutty since we got home. The laundry alone took a week. We've just been plugging away. I've been coming up with goals and commitments for the next year. I think it will help me figure out what kind of work to do in the time. The two big commitments I have for the next year are both foot related. I'm doing the SF Komen run in September, and then Poppy and I are going to hike the Haute Route in Switzerland next summer. This week I have been starting the research, map collecting, etc. My other big project this week has been to start our disaster preparedness kits (one for S & B's house and one for the S.F. house). Tiny voices have been telling me to do it for a long time. I hope we NEVER have to use the stuff, but I'm really trying to make it so that it will work should the need arise.

I'm going to sign off for now. More soon.
P.S. If ANYONE can help me figure out the best place to download MP3s, please let me know. Most sites don't seem to use MP3s.

Pre-clear coat.

Hear I sit, almost ready to put the last color coat of nail polish on my toes, and I want to say adios. The whole fam (in three, hopefully harmonious parts) flies to Mexico tomorrow. Things have been nutty leading up to this trip. I am excited, but in this numb kind of way. I have been feeling deeply and dreaming strangely this week. It is partly hormonal, but also partly edge-of-the-slide-door-of-the-plane-curtain-going-up intensity. It isn't just the night before a trip. It feels like the night before the next stage of things. At least I hope it is. I WANT to go to the mountain, get the answer, get on with the thing that I don't even know exists yet.

I got a call from an old friend this week. She is engaged. It is a wonderful thing, and yet, somewhere inside it makes me feel bad...it-is-my-own-fault-bad...the worst kind of bad.

I am just hoping that absorbing sun, playing in waves, and dangling from trees will be a good catalyst or cleanser or distiller. Wish me luck! I will be wishing you all were with me!