Off to see the wizard.

I leave for the Big J tomorrow. I am excited, and tired. I managed, with the help of some of those squishy vacuum bags, to squeeze everything in. I packed an extra bag, so be prepared.

It was difficult to say goodbye to the babies. They are both so cute.

Finally managed to speak to PC. I let him have it, in a nice way. I spoke my mind, without being to mean, I think. I don't know if he has the attachments to be a friend, but you never know.

Y'all have a ton of fun while I'm gone! I'll be thinking about you! Goopy goo!

Little tulip. In reality, she makes noises like a semi-truck.

Cheeky monkey.

What is UP?

I just started spontaneously crying ( well, maybe not crying, but getting sniffle-y)over an episode of Sex in the City! Charlotte walks into an acupuncturist's office, one that is known for helping women who are having trouble getting pregnant. She walks through the door, sees about fifty women sitting in the waiting room, lets out a little sigh, and pastes a smile on her faces.

Baby blankets, fertility issues, etc. Yet, just the other day I realized, that in some ways, it would be liberating to be told I couldn't have children.

Maybe it is just stress.

I want to be more glamorous, but just a little, just sometimes.

Nighty night.

Ten minutes at a time.

The other night B and I went to the mall together. I was looking for glasses, and he was looking for suits, shirts, etc. He has a wedding to go to at the end of the month, and needed some new duds. It was fun shopping with him, though people kept assuming we were hitched. I take this as a good sign because, I think it means we are comfortable with each other. He echoed (sweetly) my sentiments exactly when he told one of the sales people that I was as close to him as his blood sister.

Speaking of his blood sister, the whole New York gang is doing well, but is of course sleepy etc.

I have had the hardest time looking for glasses. I find it very discouraging, as I cannot go without, and they are such a huge part of my every day appearance. I finally settled on a pair, they made them, and I couldn't see out of them. It has been a painful process, but, and here is the silver lining for sure, they have been discounted fifty percent to make up for all the pain.

I was keeping all my icky boy stuff inside, and the other morning it exploded all over Mammy and S. It was S's turn to head to the mall for clothes to wear to the wedding. We were all way too tired to be shopping, and I was really crabby about the world. They were so sweet to put up with me. I got totally discouraged when I saw the most beautiful baby blanket and got all freaked out thinking I might never have the opportunity to have kids. I felt horrible by the time I got dropped off for my chiro/massage appointment, then a funny thing happened. First, I always feel better after my appointment. When I was done, I had to get back to the mall to check on the glasses situation. I wasn't sure how I'd do it, but I ended up taking a bus. I met the nicest guy, who looked like a bum, but was just trying to make his way in the world. We had a nice little chat, and then on the way into the mall I helped a lady in a wheel chair roll herself up a hill. I always feel better when I'm friendly with people. I felt so good I bought a sweater for my trip.

I feel like the trip is bad timing, but the wheels are rolling, so all hands on deck. Speaking of, I'm in the city. I attempted to get a passport today. I won't be able to pick it up until Friday. Thhbbppt. I did get a chance to swing by old work and give hugs to the gang. It was good to see them and catch up!

Tonight I had dinner with Mr. Wino. Nice guy, nice dinner. I talked to much.

Poppy has had knee deep snow. I really, REALLY wish I had been there for it!

I'm so tired, but things are mostly good. I just need to get beyond my little hurts and disappointments. I'm taking it ten minutes at a time.

I keeping up with all your blogs, and I miss those of you that aren't here! :-)

Peanut Butter

I don't know why that is my title. :-)

PC is gone. Part of me feels like a sucker, the bigger part just says, "NEXT!".

Had dinner with Mr. Vespa Wednesday night. He is a good human. We had a great conversation about human nature.

I took care of Miss EE when I got home. As she was sleeping peacefully in my lap, I looked at her. My heart just opened up, and I thought, "THIS is what is it ALL about." Do you all know what I mean? It just seems like life is supposed to be about being open, compassionate, and loving. Helping things grow and teaching them to help themselves and others. It was our bonding moment. She is so cute!

I am losing track of the days. I have a lot of little chores to do before I leave for Japan. I need new glasses, and I went to look for some today. I need you Portlandites! I cannot find ones I like. Oh, and I meant to say I hope you all are having a GREAT weekend together in your new digs!

Old friends.

My friends constantly save me from myself. In the last day or so I have spent a lot of time chatting with Jt on the phone and Fred and Thompson's Guy on line. Gentlemen, I just want to thank you all for being so sweet and supportive. You have been listening to me vent and getting me to talk about other things for a while. I love you all for it!

Toes. Pink for baby girls.

Oreo

So life is great! I have a beautiful and healthy niece and nephew. A healthy and happy (if not tired) family. Access to excellent food, clothing, and shelter. Wonderful friends, some of which are moving very close by. I'm traveling to a place I have been dreaming of for years. So, what is my not-so-silver lining?

Boys, of course. Here I am, right smack dab in the middle of what should be a great moment in my life, and YET AGAIN, I am all a fret because some boy doesn't have the decency to acknowledge my existence. What makes men think that displaying such a lack of respect will get them any where in life?

While I'm ranting...what makes people think it is OK to refuse needy children a good home? I heard a report that 16 states are attempting to ban gay and lesbian couples from adopting. Errrrrrr.

Back to nice things. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be a part of such a great family. Miss EE is so cute, and is already spending great lots of time with eyes open learning everything. A-man is getting used to her and wants to investigate her. It is fun and cool, and I feel lucky that I am able to be around for it all.