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Hunger.

Something strange keeps happening. I am hungry. ALL THE TIME! I eat, and twenty minutes later, I'm hungry. I thought maybe I was dehydrated, so I drank lots of water. I'm still hungry!

What am I hungry for? I can't keep eating. What do I need?

Watching men fumble, watching myself fumble.

Watching men working on the house reminds me, yet again, how much men fumble. Not all men, just most. Not that I don't. Planning is important, and it seems like most of us avoid it. Doing tedious work takes a lot of energy. Despite the fact that planning that work reduces some of the tedium, it seems easier to use the available energy to do the work, instead of the planning. However, it never works. Sometimes I just feel like men are much more likely to use brute force, or rush ahead, and then things break, take more time, cause more problems. I'm guilty of it, but I don't want to be.

I am trying very hard right now not to fumble. I'm trying to keep work in check. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check. I'm trying to keep it together and do everything the right way.

I have to say something right now. I am not unhappy, but I am lonely. Normally my situation is OK. I don't mind. Then the moon rotates, the tides get higher, and I get emotional. It is at these times (fueled so often by bad television) that I realize how alone I am. It isn't that I don't love people, and am loved by them. They just aren't in my daily existence right now. I don't need a man in my life romantically, but I would like one. The sting of not having one, would normally be alleviated by having friends around. I don't have any friends around. Part of it is circumstantial right now. Part of it is my own fault. I'm so picky and guarded...I resist making new, close friends. Plus, nothing compares to old friends. They know you so well, and most kinks have been ironed out long ago. They are family. Those of you that aren't close by, I miss you. For those of you that are close by, thank you for being so nice! I love the whole lot of you! I have good things going on right now, and good things are always better when they are shared. :-)

Ok, survey time! Would I be good at running a small retail store? How about if my Mammy was doing the financials?

I laugh everytime I see this! Anti-gravity Cookie.

Beautiful clouds.

I've been to the red ones.

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Mr. Urbane and I being silly a few weeks ago.

Doors! We have DOORS!

Skeletons in the chimney.

So, I've hired contractors, they are in full swing, and I want to go to Italy.

This is week two for the crew, and the weather (knock on wood) has been amazing. We need water, but I have great appreciation for sunny days with highs in the seventies. The house, as we knew it would, has revealed many of its nasty secrets (fresh air venting that isn't vented to anywhere, rodent poop EVERYWHERE, mouse skeletons in the chimney, electrical lines laying on the ground in the crawl space, etc.). Still, the fellas are creative problem solvers, and I think the end result is going to be a nice house. I just hope and pray it sells well!

Next week I will be getting on with some of the outside clean up work. This weekend some of the gang is coming up to do paint prep and demo. It should be fun!

The Upstairs Gang is officially moving back to TN. I am very happy for them, but am going to miss them something awful. Still, this way I can plan more regular trips back to TN.

I am hoping once all these real estate issues are settled, we can have more family fun weekends. There are so many amazing places to see and things to do in CA, it is time we got on with some seeing and doing.

I'm feeling pretty good, and capable. I need to be getting more exercise. I'm feeling a little unwanted, but I'll get over it soon enough. :-) I'm having a fashion desire moment. In the search for more sustainable clothing, I've found all these designers making beautiful AND sustainable clothes. It brings out the OCD in me. My budget, as always, holds me back.

Today, I am having an Italy day. I want to eat, drink, and be merry. I want to see old buildings, and sit in sunny plazas.